In the second part of this series of articles, we will like to reflect on spiritual friendship and how this is important in the accompaniment of the young. We shall also reflect on the component of the experience. Such a reflection will help us to understand better Don Bosco’s spiritual experience since this was the model he used with the young. It is important to return to Don Bosco’s spiritual and personal experience since this teaches us a lot. The choices he made, the accompaniment, offered to him, and his desire to be accompanied left a mark on his personality and his spiritual growth and maturity. It is such experiences that helped him to envision the type of accompaniment they young needed and desired. This second part will also delve into the importance of spiritual loci; that is places where God can be encountered and where the human subject can mature in his relationship with his Lord. We shall see how important the environment created by Don Bosco himself, served as a spiritual locus where the human and the Divine were interweaved and where the young developed their full spiritual and human potential.

Spiritual Friendship

For a successful and fruitful accompaniment and for both the accompanist and accompanied grow spirituality, there needs to be a bond of spiritual friendship. There can be no trust if this friendship is lacking. The dynamic of this friendship should be seen in one befriending the soul of the other person. It is a friendship that goes beyond that which is exterior in a relationship.

As always, Scriptures are a source of inspiration to help us in our reflection. In the Scriptures, we find various models of friendship. The highest form of such a friendship, which becomes a model for all other friendships, is the one established between God and humanity. This God-humanity friendship models itself on the relationship between God and Abraham. Fidelity is shown to be the most important characteristic of such a friendship since it reflects God’s fidelity towards his people. God’s fidelity, in turn, is reflected in the person of Jesus Christ himself, presented in the Gospels as being surrounded by friends. Those who befriend Jesus are asked to partake also of his life and suffering. It is, therefore, a friendship that is demanding. Those who are called to participate in the Lord’s friendship are also invited to share this friendship with others.1

The Fathers of the Church considered friendship as a means to reach Christian perfection. Perfection does not consist in avoiding friendships, staying away, detaching oneself from others so that one may obtain holiness without any hindrance, or temptations. It rather lies in having and possessing that which is good and holy, 2 including good and holy friendships. We have already seen that spiritual accompaniment aims at Christian perfection – it’s natural destination – and one cannot achieve such a state alone. There is no doubt that God can build a relationship with anyone and he can do this without the mediation of other people. Still, God prefers to go through other individual.3

In spiritual friendship, the Fathers of the Church saw a journey undertaken by two persons who both have in mind this particular destination. Accompaniment, therefore, is exercised within a unique relationship and friendship dynamic, where one helps the other to discover his spiritual goal.4 Moreover, friendship implies some level of trust in the other person. The interpersonal encounter that takes place within this journeying together also suggests that both persons exercise their freedom, a freedom which is inviolable. Such respect towards the freedom of the other person leads to having complete confidence in the other, an element which is a constant within genuine friendship and which is essentially, and fundamentally, based on a spiritual bond. This relationship manifested in an authentic, free, and honest friendship, is the spiritual love that exists between the two persons undertaking the journey of accompaniment.

In his treatise Spiritual Friendship, Aelred of Rievaulx says that a true friend is the one who preserves and protects the love that exists between two persons. Thus, friendship is that virtue which binds two souls with such a strong pact of love that the two become one. 5 In spiritual accompaniment, both souls become as one because each soul aims at the spiritual wellbeing of the other.

Furthermore, friendship becomes spiritual when it seeks the growth of the other person. Such a friendship is not influenced by the outside forces that can rather distort the perception that one might have about the other. Rather, it is more influenced by the spiritual attraction that one has for the other person’s soul. Spiritual friendship, in the Christian Tradition, is seen as a mutual relationship within which the spiritual ideals of both persons are sought and strengthened. In sharing the same faith, these two individuals sustain and support each other in their search for God, or rather their search for Divine will. When two persons have a vigorous and intense spiritual life, they are bound in spirit and heart. This bond, or communion, is very open, and it does not look upon the other person’s weaknesses, but rather it understands such faults, undertakes the task to strengthen or to change such weakness, and follows its spiritual endeavor, that is, striving to live and act in the imitation of Christ.6

Rievaulx affirms that spiritual friendship is that which we call as true friendship, and it is desired and sought not because there is something worldly to be gained but because it is of great value in itself in such a way that the fruits and the reward that derive from such a relationship are nothing but friendship itself. Spiritual friendship grows stronger by time and reaps the fruits while it reaches perfection. Furthermore, this friendship is born between two similar, good, disposed souls whose lives, habits, and aspirations are also similar. This kind of friendship brings these two souls to be in harmony in human and divine matters, and it is imbued with compassion and charity.7

In the correspondence between St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane de Chantal, the idea of spiritual friendship was conceived as a bond that leads to human perfection. Spiritual friendship is seen as a means to become fully human, especially in realizing one’s Christian vocation. St. Francis de Sales favored friendship in spiritual direction with the condition that this friendship was purely spiritual, sacred, holy and divine. This spiritual friendship, as previously stated, had its foundations on that love which one has for the soul of the other person:

Know that, as I have just said, from the beginning of your conferring with me about your interior, God gave me a great love for your soul. When you opened yourself to me more particularly, it was an obligation on my soul to cherish yours more and more, which made me write to you that God had given me to you. I do not believe that anything could be added to the affection I felt in my soul, and above all when praying God for you.8

It is important to note what Francis de Sales is saying here. Such a love for one’s soul is infused in the person by God; its origins are not found in the human heart, but in the Divine. Although the human heart can love and can do so in a transparent manner, it is still conditioned by human emotions and attractions. This conditioning may incline the heart to push a person away, or to love the individual like a possession rather than a unique person in need of accompaniment and direction. That is why spiritual love is more of a spiritual attraction rather any other attraction towards which the human heart might be inclined. Indeed, Francis de Sales continues that

A certain new quality has developed that I seem unable to name. I can only say its effect is a great interior sweetness that I feel in wishing you the perfection of the love of God, and other spiritual benedictions. No, I do not add a single line to the truth. I speak before the “God of my heart” [Ps. 73:26, RSV] and yours: every affection has its particular difference from others; the affection that I have for you has a special quality which immensely consoles me, and which to sum up, is extremely profitable to me. Hold that for the truest truth, and doubt it no more.9

At the time, this was a new concept introduced within the context of which the persons involved in accompaniment gave themselves to each other as spiritual friends. In doing so, they supported each other by remaining faithful to their spiritual friendship. They also endeavored to help each other obtain Christian perfection.10

St. Francis de Sales urges Philothea to befriend only those who are capable of a virtuous life:

Love everyone with a deep love based on charity, Philothea, but form friendships only with those who can share virtuous things with you. The higher the virtues you share and exchange with others, the more perfect your friendship will be. It this participation is in matters of knowledge, the resulting friendship is certainly very praiseworthy.11

Furthermore, this friendship will be more praiseworthy if both souls share in the same virtues: “It is still more so if you have virtues in common, namely, prudence, temperance, fortitude, and justice.”12 The sharing of such virtues is important in the relationship between the accompanist and the accompanied.

Moreover, a certain amount of emphasis is placed on charity, devotion, and Christian perfection since these transform this friendship into a unique bond. The reason behind this is that such a friendship comes from God, a friendship that will lead both souls to him because only He can permit such a friendship to last for eternity.

If your mutual and reciprocal exchanges concern charity, devotion, and Christian perfection, O God, how precious this friendship will be! It will be excellent because it comes from God, excellent because it leads to God, excellent because its bond will endure eternally in God. How good it is to love here on earth as they live in heaven and to learn to cherish one another in this world as we shall do eternally in the next!13

St. Francis de Sales moves on to state that this friendship is not based on a simple act of charity towards all men but rather a “spiritual friendship” through which two or more souls share “with one another their devotion and spiritual affections and establish a single spirit among themselves.”14

Since we are talking about Salesian accompaniment, we need to underline here that context is important so that spiritual friendships can be cultivated and nurtured. Salesian accompaniment is never detached from the reality of the young people who seek our guidance. It is not divorced from their daily reality. Don Bosco sought out the young in their ‘world’, in their environment. The Salesian spirit, as inherited by Don Bosco from Francis de Sales, besides being contextual is also “relational.” It is not only based on the relationship between accompanist and accompanier, but also between them and Jesus Christ, who is the focus of spiritual accompaniment. In fact, Wendy M. Wright and Joseph F. Power, state that a better word, “to portray the Salesian spirit might be “between.”” because what goes on “between persons in their relationships … is of the essence in making Jesus live.” This “interpersonal dimension” helps to deepen the insight that individuals come to love God “in the midst” and not detached from one’s reality or the world.15 Thus it was also for Don Bosco. He invited the young to meet God, through Jesus Christ, in their reality. God comes to meet them in their life history, in their reality, in their poverty and situation. His building a relationship with the young, helped him to bring them closer to this reality, that is, the reality that God is to be loved and sought above all else.

Don Bosco looked upon his friendship with the young as a means to gain and win their souls for God. Thus, he always perceived his friendship with them as being a spiritual one. His spiritual friendship with Dominic Savio, for example, can be seen in this light. Both ‘teacher’ [accompanist] and ‘disciple’ [the accompanied] had a zeal for the salvation of souls, both had the eagerness to become holy, both believed that they were placed in a particular moment of history for a purpose, for a sanctifying and divine purpose. Dominic Savio, under the influence of Don Bosco immediately understood that if he wanted to make new friends, such friendships would have only one foundation: the salvation of his friends’ souls.16 Don Bosco managed to create a ripple effect in the young Dominic Savio and to orient his spiritual life towards Christian perfection. Moreover, Don Bosco himself benefitted from this spiritual friendship in that he also reaped the fruits and advanced further in his perfection.

The type of friendship to be sought and suggested by Don Bosco also reflects in the choices that the young Domini Savio had made in this regard. In Dominic Savio’s biography, Don Bosco underlined the aspect of friendship more than he did in the other biographies because it was one that highlighted the young saint’s holiness. It was a gift that the young Savio was able to make good use of always keeping in mind the salvation of his companions. Don Bosco highlights Savio’s friendship with two particular friends, John Massaglia and Camillo Gavio. Since the biography’s intent was a celebration of holiness and about the edification of the soul, it was meant to teach and accompany the young readers with tangible and concrete examples how they could achieve holiness through spiritual friendships. Thus, the near-exalting tone used to describe friendship in this part of the biography served another important purpose: it became a doctrine on friendship. One can say, that Don Bosco’s line of thought was the same that St. Francis de Sales used in his Introduction about friendship which became, and remained, as the foundation of any treatise on the subject both in the moral and spiritual-ascetical field.17

However, not all the boys Don Bosco encountered or welcomed were like Dominic Savio. He was aware of their daily trails and difficulty and sometimes he observed that it took one wrong decision for them to sink deeper into their problems or difficulties. Many times, this wrong choice had to do with friends. In many of his writings aimed at the younger readership, Don Bosco invited the young to foster in themselves the ability to make sound choices in life. Such decisions, concerned in a special way, those about companions. Don Bosco believed that one could not live a virtuous life if one made the wrong choices. The selection of friends was of a very delicate concern him: a good companion could edify his friends; a bad, evil friend could destroy the moral life of his companions. Don Bosco believed that the right choice of friends could enable them to save their soul and to guard their virtue of chastity and help them to excel in other virtues. Friends or companions, who were not embarrassed to be immoral, should always be avoided.

Those boys, who in your presence do not even blush when they speak obscenely, utter ambiguous or scandalous words, grumble or murmur, lie, deceive, curse, blaspheme, or even try to distance you from Church matters or who try to encourage you to transgress your duties, are wicked companions. They are ministers of the devil, and from whom you should protect yourself more than from the plague or the devil himself. I implore you my dear sons with tears in my eyes to avoid and abhor such companies! 18

Such admonishments stem from Don Bosco’s desire for the young to avoid any path that might lead them to perdition. He knew, from personal experience, that making the wrong choices in life could lead to a tragic end. Thus, he urges them to avoid all that can harm their souls and their lives. He writes:

Listen to what the Lord has to say: “He, who walks with the virtuous, will also become one.” However, the fools’ friend will become similar to them. Guard yourself against the wicked companion as you would guard yourself against the deadly bite of a venomous serpent: tamquam a facie colubri. In other words, if you walk alongside good persons, I assure you that you will go to Heaven together with them. On the contrary, if you associate yourselves with the depraved you will become like them, and this will cause an irreparable loss of your soul. 19

He made the same recommendations to a young seminarian: “Courage, therefore, my son, be strong in faith, be aware daily of the holy fear of God; avoid wicked companions like you would avoid venomous serpents.”20 To another he wrote: “Dear Octavian courage; be careful of and avoid bad companions; seek out the good ones and imitate them.”21 Hence, safeguarding the propensity towards a virtuous life, he warns the young against the dangers of the wrong choices they might make, whatever state of life they choose, and through which choices they might offend God. The consequences of such decisions are an essential element in the Salesian spiritual accompaniment since it present them to the young in a preventive like manner: avoid making the wrong choices and you will avoid facing up to the consequences these same choices bring about.

Don Bosco urged the young to find companions that would help them to grow more spiritually and with whom they could move together towards Christian perfection.22 He invited them to accompany each other in an honest and truthful way because having companions also brought with it responsibilities. Faithful friends should be responsible towards each other by seeking only the well-being of the other person’s soul: “be good to one another, love each other, help each other and give each other good example and advice. But never – I say, never – let there be any friendship which only too often leads to mutual scandal, obscene conversation, and the ruin of each other’s soul.”23 In this, Don Bosco is very near to St. Francis de Sales, who writes:

For those who live in the world and desire to embrace true virtue it is necessary to unite together in holy, sacred friendship. By this means they encourage, assist, and lead one another to perform good deeds. Men walking on level ground do not have to lend one another a hand, while those who are on a rugged, slippery road hold on to one another in order to walk more safely.24

Don Bosco’s spiritual friendship with the young under his guidance was a way to approach them and to help them in their moral and religious needs. He knew well that spiritual accompaniment was a strengthening of spiritual direction; for him it was personal. While being prudent at all times, he did not shy away from entering into confidence with the young to be able to guide them well and in the right direction. For him, accompanying the young became a way of life, a dedication offered in a benevolent and paternal manner to win their hearts over for God.

Experience

Experience is another important element in spiritual accompaniment. All of us can presume, or rather assert, that we possess an experience of some kind. It would be wrong, however, to confine “experience” to one particular area of specialization.25 For this reason, when in this study we speak of “experience,” we are referring not only to the personal experience that the accompanist or the accompanied might have but also to religious or Christian experience. Still, there are phases of experience of which one needs to be aware.

There are two important elements within an experience. The first one is the existence of exterior realities to the subject, with ‘subject’ referring to the individual. These realities can be numerous and sometimes unsuspected. In fact, everything can be an object of experience. The second element is the subject himself that is, the concrete, existential subject and not a subject as a mere concept or an ‘ideal subject.’ The object presents itself to the subject, and immediately the dynamism within the experience commences its actual development.26

Man constantly enters into contact with various objects around him. Not all these, however, initiate an experience for him. He remains passive and towards some, and towards others he has a more active approach. Some other objects have an emotional, biological and psychological effect on him. Some others can change the course of his life completely, especially when the person has a spiritual experience. Since man participates in the life of the divine, experience falls within the realm of theological anthropology, meaning that experience, somehow, has human and divine attributes, it is both “immanent and transcendent.”27

As we enter into the transcendent and the divine, experience becomes a religious experience. Desramaut states that such an experience is the act or the sum of actions through which a person feels that he is in a relationship with God. However, God cannot be reduced to an “object” of which man makes an experience.28 Theologians state that God is entirely other. So how can we make or have an experience of God? Each experience we have is unique in that it “is a potential step forward toward that specific goal. Experience is religious when we recognize that good desires are received, not fabricated, and we deliberately search out the One who calls us by this gift of desire.”29

Saints had this same experience. It was through the ordinary daily experience that they encountered God. In their daily fatigue, they managed to experience a transcendent feeling attracted through an inner desire that the outside world could not give. This desire, in turn, drew them to experience God more profoundly and by doing so participated in the Divine will.

Does this mean that the ‘object’ of experience that is God is accessible to this experience? Desramaut states the object itself of a religious act remains inaccessible to experience. However, the religious environment becomes a possible encounter locus. The practices and customs – the forces that drive towards transformation – provide the ground for one’s spiritual disposition towards the Infinite God. Therefore, anything within a religious experience, like interior disposition, exterior behavior, an image, a sacrament and the community, can all mean to maintain and to strengthen one’s relationship – the actual place for religious experience – with God.30

Don Bosco’s life experience became the foundation for his Salesian spirituality which in turn was edified on religious experience. Don Bosco’s personal religious experience was one of God’s action in him personally and then through him towards others. Our Founder believed that God acted in him, and he let himself being used as a Divine instrument to make those around him part of the saving works of God. It is a belief he nurtured since a very young age, under the shadow of his mother. As we have seen in the first part of this article, the environment in which the young subject is brought up, can leave an imprint on the spiritual life of a child. The presence of God permeated Don Bosco’s childhood household, and this affected his interior life inducing him to have an early religious experience.

Don Bosco lived his religious experience in intimacy with God. His spiritual progress and journey were in a continuous intimate union with the Lord. God becomes thus the One who consecrates Don Bosco, and he sends him out to the world, giving him a particular mission and endowing him with a special charism. During his spiritual journey, Don Bosco was always aware and attentive to the Spirit of God, the Spirit which for him was a means of sanctification and continuous spiritual renewal.31 This intimate relationship with God is then manifested in the person of Jesus Christ himself whom Don Bosco tried to imitate in everything. While God is at the center of all his actions and deeds, the Son of God, seen as the Savior and the only Way to the Father, is the fulcrum on which all his spirituality rotates. Jesus Christ becomes for Don Bosco a companion on a spiritual journey.

In a way, this was Don Bosco’s ascetical experience. His asceticism was very demanding but without approving any hard and severe penances. His asceticism revolved more around spiritual mortifications achieved through the dominion of one’s will power. He advocated an asceticism that had the crucified Christ as a model, without however falling into pessimism. On the contrary, he saw in the Resurrected Christ the optimism that should help the Christian to move towards eternity. The style and method of devotion on which he relied to educate the young towards religion, was not of a liturgical make-up but rather it was a sacramental method, in particular through his insistence on the practice of the sacraments and on the devotion towards Mary Help of Christians. It was in this manner through which Don Bosco proposed holiness and personal sanctification as the main objective to be reached by the young.32

What made Don Bosco’s experience a religious one was his free adherence to the will of God. It is this free and unconditional adherence to the Absolute which made his spiritual experience an authentic religious experience.33 It was his adherence to God’s will that transformed Don Bosco in a spiritual accompanier of the young. This intimacy in his relationship with God the Father, with Jesus Christ as the mediator of humanity, and with the Spirit who guided him throughout his spiritual journey, became incarnated in his guiding the young souls helping them make a personal spiritual experience of the Divine.

The loci of spiritual experience

To establish the loci of spiritual experience, one need to see actually, where does the relationship between the Spirit and the individual arises. This relationship is the factor which attributes the locus to the experience. 34 The subject, in fact, is the first locus of the spiritual experience. The human person is a rational being and becomes the first point of encounter with the Spirit; he is the subject of the spiritual experience. He is neither a mere concept nor a theory. He exists concretely, and he is part of this existence in which he also moves.35Therefore, man possesses many experiences which come from the outside world that surrounds him and of which he makes a part. There is another ‘world’ so to speak, the one that is on the ‘inside’ rather than the outside and in which man has and makes experiences. It is true, that the outside world might, and probably does, influence what goes on inside man. However, this outside influence does not make a spiritual experience better or worse; it makes it better. Each has a spiritual experience which is different from that of others in the sense that it occurred in a particular environment, a different locus.

There is always the risk than that when one speaks of the loci of spirituality, one tends to think immediately of a mystical experience. The mystics had their classical loci of spiritual experience, like the Church – the traditional and classical locus – religious tradition, prayer, liturgy and even silence. However, these might give one the impression of returning to a medieval spiritual experience, practiced particularly within the confines of the monasteries. The risk is that this type of spirituality can be taken as the archetype for all spiritualities.36 One cannot limit or time-bar the action of the Holy Spirit. New loci have arisen since medieval times, and new ones will continue to be discovered in the present and the future. Guerra states that the necessity to add new places and new stages to spiritual experience is felt and confirmed by many in the same way as the need to recognize the existence of the classical loci. For this study, we will concentrate on the traditional places of spiritual experiences and indicate those that, in our opinion, served Don Bosco well to help the young to have such an experience.

The Church has always been considered as the prime classical locus of spiritual experience. We have already stated that spiritual accompaniment is part of the ministry of the Church.37 Within that particular direction and accompaniment, there is a dynamic experience, a spiritual experience. The Church gives this experience an ecclesial dimension. Also, the Church being a community of believers offers a second significant dimension: a communitarian dimension.38

Don Bosco recognized the Church as the Temple of God and he requested respect from his young readers towards such a sacred place; but not only. Being religious meant for him to venerate all that which had to do with such a calling, and especially the church which is a sacred place and a house of prayer. It is the place where God listens to the prayers of the faithful and where he grants his graces.39 Don Bosco, surely, was writing to encourage his young readers to behave well while in the church. Still, there is another essential reason behind his appeal. The Church was to Don Bosco’s mind the sacred space where God encounters humanity and in which all believers form part, it is the Temple where man is truly united with the Trinity. It is the only temple of the one true, religion, the Catholic faith.40

The Church was the only locus where the young were certain to gain holiness and salvation. Don Bosco never hesitated to denounce heretics and those who wanted to the divide the Church. He was adamant that outside of the Catholic Church no one could be saved.41 One could say that Don Bosco shivered at the thought at even one of the youngsters under his care was to be lost from the fold of the Church.42 His spiritual direction and accompaniment were not separated from the Catholic Church. It is within this privileged locus that he exercised his ministry. Not only, but he also exercised this particular ministry for the Church. He could not have thought it otherwise.

Don Bosco perceived the Church as the only one founded by Jesus Christ; the one confessed in the Creed, established on the Apostles and handed down in uninterrupted succession to the successor of Peter, the Roman Pontiff.43 It was to the Church’s Spiritual Leader that Don Bosco showed not only respect, but also offered complete fidelity and obedience. In the person of the Roman Pontiff, he saw an authoritative reference to the infallibility of the teaching of the Church. The person of the Pope thus became another ‘seat of wisdom’ from which all genuine and authentic teaching flows. Don Bosco’s love for the Church was undisputed. He encouraged the young to love and to respect the Church and its leaders. It was the Church’s ‘true religion’ which he presented to the young as the only way to salvation. “Perseverance,” he wrote “and courage will enable us to suffer, even unto death itself, instead of saying or doing something that goes against the Catholic Religion, the true and only Religion of Jesus Christ, without whom no one can be saved.”44 It was within the Church that the young and all believers could find solace for the soul and inspiration to lead a holy and authentic Christian life.45

Closely connected with this privileged locus are other loci which Don Bosco considered as privileged and in which the young could make a spiritual experience and thus grow in their spiritual formation. Sacramental life was also a privileged place for a truly authentic spiritual experience. The sacraments for Don Bosco were a means of sanctification, and they were an integral part of the life of the Church, a life in which he invited the young to participate continuously. All sacraments have an ecclesial meaning and value. Those who receive the sacraments and practice them do so not as private persons but as members of a community.46 Thus, the sacraments enabled those who received them to form part of a spiritual community and which gave them a sense of belonging, belonging to the Mystical Body of Christ.

To Don Bosco’s mind, the sacraments were a place of encounter with the Lord. They had a lasting effect on themselves. Moreover, since they have this permanent effect, they become a locus of spiritual experience and progress. Undoubtedly the major two sacraments that Don Bosco saw as an important locus to receive the grace of holiness and an enriched spiritual life were the sacraments of Confession and that of the Eucharist. He especially made use of the ministry of Confession to guide the young and accompany them on their spiritual journey.

Another important locus where spiritual experience could take place and where Don Bosco exercised well his accompaniment, was the Oratory. For him, this environment was the ideal place where the young could not only meet each other but also where they could encounter God. The Oratory – the prototypical environment, place, created by Don Bosco – was permeated with the presence of God. Having learned from his mother, that God “sees you wherever you are,” Don Bosco instilled in his young to be conscious of such a divine presence and to be responsible for their words and deeds as not to offend the Lord. It was also a formative environment where the young could come not only to learn about religion but also to learn about life and how they could put into practice their faith in daily living. The Oratory served as a place of evangelization, as a school of life and as a place of spiritual accompaniment and human formation.

Spiritual accompaniment took its particular form because it was authenticated by the Salesian environment created by Don Bosco, an environment that was permeated by his presence and by his spirit. His first Salesians were encouraged and inspired by the person of their Founder who visited the houses frequently to encourage his sons to continue to endeavor in their vocation and ministry among the young. Each Salesian house became the casa di Don Bosco. His spirit, the assiduous and dynamic personality, his vision and his manner of acting, permeated each house.

The Salesian house was also permeated by the presence of God. This sense of the Divine gave the Salesian accompaniment a clear direction, that is, that the end is in God. Thus, the house was a theological, spiritual locus where God was sought and loved, and where humanity encountered its Creator. It was a place where the young could mature and become authentic Christians and grow spiritually. This growth was made possible for them because the Salesian house cultivated those elements that were seen as enhancing this growth. In fact, Don Bosco reminded the young who came to the house to consider themselves lucky for it gave them the opportunity to hear daily Mass, to go to confession frequently, to receive Holy Communion and to pay a visit to the Blessed Sacrament.47 Such religious activities thus made the Salesian house a place where God was honored and worshiped, and his name was glorified.48

Don Bosco’s house was also an anthropological locus, that is, a place where he endeavored to help the young understand that although they were broken, even humanly speaking, God still reaches out to them and rebuilds their lives. Many of the young who came to him were broken in their spirit because of the precarious situations in which they had found themselves. This approach was the religious humanism which Don Bosco inherited from Francis de Sales49 and other saints.50 Desramaut says that for St. Francis de Sales, humanism was a way of being in the world with God and others, that is, one experiences humanism in a relationship with God which leads to an extended relationship with others. He also believed that the person’s human nature should, and must, be part of the plan of salvation. St. Francis de Sales’ works consistently underline this important and essential fact: humanism integrates every human subject; no one is excluded.51 Don Bosco assimilated this in his life and work. Every human person is loved by God and therefore all are called to cooperate in the plan of salvation.

Don Bosco’s house became a home that welcomed the young, irrespective of their social status. He wanted the young to realize that, once they find themselves in a Salesian house, they were loved by God. Even if their humanity were wounded through sin, God would not forsake those who trust in him and those who strive to live an authentic Christian life. If man was redeemed by Christ, then he was destined to return to God after his life on earth. This message was the underlying factor found throughout his writings addressed purposely to the young.

The Salesian house permeated also with a family spirit that was unique in its structure. The Salesian accompanist had to instill this sense of family in the environment in which they were called to work and live. This idea of belonging was very strong. Even those who met Don Bosco for the first time remained impressed by the spirit that permeated in the Oratory at Valdocco.52 The young also sought Don Bosco’s house when they found themselves in difficulty or when they desired to be accompanied. Severino, for example, always found Don Bosco’s house as a welcoming home.53

Don Bosco’s casa became the spiritual locus that attracted the young souls to desire and strive for holiness. Such was the case of Dominic Savio when he came to the Oratory. In all probability he would have become a saint just the same, even if had not come to the Oratory, because he was already infused by Divine grace. However, la casa di Don Bosco was the means through which Divine providence chose for him to become holy.54 For Magone it was the house of transformation: from his participation in the activities of the house, to a radical moral reform, Don Bosco’s house was the locus for his spiritual and human growth.55 The young Besucco, on the other hand, felt the desire to come to the Oratory precisely after having read the life of Magone written by Don Bosco; it became for him a holy and sanctifying attraction.56At Don Bosco’s house, Pietro managed to strike a harmonious balance between his work, his acts of piety, his study and recreation57 – a significant balance in the development of an adolescent. Valentino’s experience of the new boarding school was the rediscovery of his identity as a Christian and rediscovering spiritual life.58

This is what made la casa di Don Bosco a typical Salesian environment. His house became the locus par excellence where the young could develop their spiritual life and enhance their relationship with God and were accompanied to discover their potentialities, including spiritual ones, and to achieve spiritual maturity. With this aim in mind, Don Bosco made it clear that he did not open oratories, schools and houses because his main concern was to ‘make money’ or to impress society by seeking to increase the ‘numbers’ of young people.59 Neither did he desire to be looked upon as a ‘superior’ but rather desired to be looked upon as a ‘friend’60. In a spirit that is typical of a good family father, and in the true spirit of da mihi animas caetera tolle, Don Bosco urges the young to cooperate with him so that they can achieve great things together,61 that is, the salvation of their souls.62 This was the first aim of the casa di Don Bosco. His paternity, always affectionate and always reaching out to the hearts of the young, was to strive and endeavor for the true happiness of his young people: “My dearest sons in J. C. [Jesus Christ], Whether I am near or far, I always think of you. I have only one desire: to see you all happy in the present and in eternity.”63

Don Bosco’s spiritual experience

In his Memoirs, Don Bosco writes of various encounters that he had as a young boy, as a young seminarian, and as a young priest, experiences which molded, in one way or another, his spiritual experience. These were encounters which also molded his personality and which will have a huge impact, eventually, on the spiritual accompaniment ministered by him towards the young. Since an early age, Don Bosco lived within a spiritual environment, his childhood home having been a cradle of for Christian practices and acts of piety, permeated by the presence of Mamma Margaret who oversaw the concretization of her sons’ life of faith and prayer in their daily chores and duties.

Don Bosco was writing to trace the beginning of his priestly vocation and his call to found the Oratory. According to Aldo Giraudo, in Don Bosco’s mind, there is a blending of various experiences, such as his memories of his adolescence and his spiritual intimacy with his mother. He also writes about his beliefs and convictions strengthened during his long years of formation and about his numerous, confidential encounters which reflected upon the consciousness and lifestyle of the young he was addressing. Don Bosco knew very well how effective a caring and attentive assistance and accompaniment would be. His perception of accompaniment was that of one that values the receptive and predisposed interiority of the adolescent, one which is constantly aware of the natural, innate thirst for God and of recognizing the laborious grace which acts in particular events of human history. 64

Mamma Margaret: John Bosco’s first accompanier

We had seen at the beginning of this article when we discussed the spiritual development of the accompanied person, how important the presence of parents is in such development. There is no doubt, that John Bosco’s mother had an impact on his life and even so on his spiritual life and bearings. From what he wrote in the Memoirs, it is evident that his mother played an important part, if not an exclusive part, in his spiritual formation. In the Bibliographical Memoirs we read

John modeled himself on his mother. Later, we shall see in him the same faith, the same purity, and the same love of prayer. Margaret’s patience, fearlessness, constancy, trust in God, zeal for the salvation of souls, simplicity and gentleness of manner, charity toward all, untiring diligence, prudence in managing affairs, careful supervision of dependents and serenity in the face of adversity will, in time, be revealed in John Bosco. Margaret’s personality was to leave its imprint on him just as an image leaves its likeness on a photographic plate.65

These words, written by Lemoyne, are also reflected in John Bosco’s memory of his mother, especially when he came to make his first Holy Communion. What he wrote in that part reflects precisely a motherly spiritual accompaniment that will eventually become his way or method.

My mother coached me for days and brought me to confession three times during that Lent. “My dear John,” she would say, “God is going to give you a wonderful gift. Make sure you prepare well for it. Go to confession and don’t keep anything back. Tell all your sins to the priest, be sorry for them all, and promise God to do better in the future.” I promised all that. God alone knows whether I have been faithful to my resolution. At home, she saw to it that I said my prayers and read good books; and she always came up with the advice which a diligent mother knows how to give her children.66

His mother’s words represent here a synthesis of his pedagogy of the sacraments which he will later present to the young in many of his writings, especially in Il giovane provveduto. This “coaching”67 was to become his accompanying method for the young especially in preparing them for spiritual life.

His mother’s accompaniment seems to have been very direct and very well structured. To teach him the importance of such a day like that in which he was going to receive his First Holy Communion, she kept him away from the usual daily chores and invited him to read and to pray before the occasion.68 This ‘preparation period’ is reflected later on in his writing of the manual of Il giovane provveduto in which he constantly insists on the proper preparation before and after the reception of the Sacrament. Furthermore, this accompaniment, which his mother so fondly gave and offered, had a transformational effect on John Bosco. Indeed, he writes

Amongst the many things that my mother repeated to me many times was this: “My dear son, this is a great day for you. I am convinced that God has really taken possession of your heart. Now promise him to be good as long as you live. Go to communion frequently in the future, but beware of sacrilege. Always be frank in confession, be obedient always, go willingly to catechism and sermons.”69

With hindsight, Don Bosco remembers this ‘improvement’ in his life, and he intimately connects it with the reception of the First Holy Communion.

I treasured my mother’s advice and tried to carry it out. I think that from that day on there was some improvement in my life, especially in matters of obedience and submission to others. It was not easy for me to be submissive because I liked to do things my way and follow my own childish whims rather than listen to those who gave me advice or told me what to do.70

Eventually, as a priest and educator, Don Bosco believed in the transforming power of the Eucharist. He would frequently exhort the young to receive this sacrament often, always keeping to the advice of their confessor, and to receive it with great devotion.

It can be said that Margaret Occhiena gave her son the first spiritual sensitivity. Her words were sustained and strengthened by her example and by her devotion to the Sacraments, to the Church and the saints. Therefore, as a young boy, John Bosco had imprinted on his mind and on his soul, not in a forcible manner, a profound spiritual experience which will later serve him well in accompanying the young. One also has to take into consideration the fact that these Memoirs had a particular aim: to show the founding of the Oratory. Don Bosco, purposely, started from the very beginning to make it clear that his calling came very early in life and that in this accompaniment, his mother, his environment, his household, his little devotions all played an important part in his founding the Oratory. For him, this was part of the Divine plan which at first was not completely clear to him but which progressively became clearer as he grew up.71

Don Bosco’s love for souls and their salvation also drew from his mother’s concern and love for souls. Mamma Margaret was very much concerned to which activities her sons would participate. She was very diligent to see that such activities did not harm their souls in any way. She was also diligent in avoiding her sons falling into sin or immoral behavior. This zeal was an indefatigable one that was not confined, so to speak, to protect her sons’ souls and moral life; it was a zeal which had no barriers. It is from this first ‘spiritual school’ that the young John Bosco drank from, and which will leave a profound impact on his spiritual life and future ministry. His zeal for souls became his life’s motto and orientation. 72

Accompanied by Mary Most Holy throughout his life

John Bosco’s first image of Mary was imprinted on his mind and his soul before the dream he had at the age of nine. His mother had taught him to pray to the Virgin Mary at a very young age indeed. The Bosco household was not only permeated by the presence of God but also by a profound devotion to the Virgin Mary. John’s mother taught him to pray to her daily, to ask for her protection and guidance. In fact, his mother’s

greatest care was given to instructing her sons in their religion, making them value obedience, and keeping them busy with tasks suited to their age. When I was still very small, she herself taught me to pray. As soon as I was old enough to join my brothers, she made me kneel with them morning and evening. We would all recite our prayers together, including the rosary.73

The young John Bosco would discover another ‘mother’ in the Blessed Virgin.74 The Mother of God’s purity would also remain as a guiding feature throughout his life, and he would very often refer to her as the model of this virtue. His mother’s words in her famous ‘sermon’ before he left to join the Seminary in Chieri, seem to have remained imprinted on Don Bosco’s mind for a long time.

When you came into the world, I consecrated you to the Blessed Virgin. When you began your studies, I recommended to you devotion to this Mother of ours. Now I say to you, be completely hers; love those of your companions who have devotion to Mary; and if you become a priest, always preach and promote devotion to Mary.” My mother was deeply moved as she finished these words, and I cried. “Mother,” I replied, “I thank you for all you have said and done for me. These words of yours will not prove vain; I will treasure them all my life.75

Don Bosco would prove to be a man of his word. He became a child of the Blessed Virgin totally. The baptismal ‘consecration’ by his mother to the Heavenly Mother became for him an indelible factor and would mold his spirituality and his heart taking the Virgin, after taking Jesus Christ her son as his model, as his teacher and guide.

Brocardo says that the Blessed Virgin became like a radiant light in the life of Don Bosco. The author states that Don Bosco

is a saint filled with God and simultaneously he is a saint filled with Mary. In fact, next to his relying on God, all his life revolves around the Virgin. … But the Virgin does not limit herself to reveal herself through mother Margaret’s mediation. She directly bursts like a light from high above in the life of the young shepherd boy from Becchi, first in “the dream at the age of nine” and thereafter in other, Marian dreams that followed.76

The author continues that Don Bosco, throughout his life, perceived God’s initiative in calling him to be a founder of a new Congregation that will be a gift to all the Church. However, he believed, with the same amount of conviction, that the Blessed Virgin herself, through all his toils and endeavors, to finding the Salesian Society, had guided him. Many times, he would affirm with much certainty, that the founder of the Congregation was Mary most Holy.77 It was, however, the dream that he had when he was nine years old which left a tremendous impact on his spiritual life and from which he would for every hold the Blessed Virgin as his teacher and guide.

In that dream, the Virgin Mother was presented to him by Jesus Christ himself. She was shown and given to him as a teacher and guide: “I will give you a teacher. Under her guidance, you can become wise. Without her, all wisdom is foolishness.”78 John Bosco did not seem to comprehend fully this dream, especially its Divine connotations. As a child, it perturbed him, and he could not stop thinking and ponder on it. In all probability, little did he know at that time, that this dream would become his life program and his direction. The Lady in the dream had told him that one day he would understand. In fact, it took him a lifetime to understand this message and to see the fulfillment of God’s plan for him, guided and always accompanied by the Virgin Mother.79

Encounter with Father Calosso: a providential meeting

According to his personal account of his childhood and early adolescence, Don Bosco’s encounter with Father John Melchior Calosso, was a timely one.80 After his initiation into the spiritual realm by his mother, John Bosco found in this elderly Reverend, his first spiritual guide and benefactor.81

What makes this encounter special, in our opinion, is the way the dialogue between the two initiated. Again, as with his first encounter with Fr. Cafasso later on in his life, this dialogical dynamism which took place in that conversation, will eventually be the same one used by Don Bosco himself when he encounters any young person for the first time.82 The careful selection of questions was meant to give a clear picture of the social and religious state of the young person. It was a way intended to see which direction was needed to be taken and how the accompaniment should be applied.

John Bosco soon discovered in this good priest a father, a spiritual father, who was eager to guide him on discerning his priestly vocation, a teacher full of enthusiasm and both a benefactor and friend. In discovering these qualities in Fr. Calosso, John Bosco immediately trusted him: “I put myself completely into Fr. Calosso’s… I bared my soul to him. Every word, thought, and act I revealed to him promptly. This pleased him because it made it possible for him to have an influence on both my spiritual and temporal welfare.”83 This ‘bearing’ of his soul, as we have seen earlier, makes spiritual accompaniment more honest and open. The young John Bosco perceived this important aspect at a very young age, and since he was searching to do God’s will, he believed that to discover such Divine will one needed, to be honest, and truthful. Furthermore, this entrusting of himself to the direction of Fr. Calosso would in future be a suggestion that he will propose to the young people with whom he will eventually work.

The spiritual relationship with Fr. Calosso proved to be also a pedagogical experience for the young John Bosco. He had already thought of some ideas of how to achieve personal holiness and Christian perfection. Fr. Calosso seems to have made a difference in the way the young Bosco perceived spiritual life. This difference appears to be very eloquent in John Bosco’s words

Amongst other things he forbade [the emphasis is mine] a penance I used to practise; he deemed it unsuited to my age and circumstances. He encouraged frequent confession and communion. He taught me how to make a short daily meditation, or more accurately, a spiritual reading. I spent all the time I could with him; I stayed with him on feast days. I went to serve his Mass during the week when I could. From then on, I began to savour the spiritual life; up to then I had acted in a purely mechanical way, not knowing the reasons.84

The movement towards a more profound experience of the spiritual life seems to have occurred precisely through the example and expertise of this simple priest. The young John Bosco appears to have adjusted in some way his view of spiritual life and what it means to achieve Christian perfection and how to achieve such perfection. He too will eventually ‘forbid’ young people from practicing some penance which was not suitable for their age or their situation.

The approach used by Fr. Calosso in guiding the young adolescent, developed into a dynamic father-son relationship. In an actual dynamic where we have the ‘disciple’ opening to a full disclosure of his thoughts and placing himself under the obedience of this humble priest, we can get a glimpse of the classical characteristics of spiritual accompaniment. In this relationship between father and son, there occurs a religious arousal that is accompanied by a reawakening of the inner consciousness. Life is communicated between a generous, welcoming ‘father’ and a ‘son’ who feels loved and who interiorly feels God in a way he never experienced before. It was also a relationship that led the young John Bosco to see himself in a new dimension.85

Don Bosco himself will eventually apply this dynamic. He would enter into confidence with the young so that they could pour out their inner thoughts to him. He would project himself as a ‘father’ in whom the young will entrust their soul and their life. He will help them to discover the beauty of spiritual life and the spiritual benefits of Christian perfection. The Calosso-Bosco experience model would forever remain imprinted in his mind.

At Chieri: cultivating friendships and a growing desire of accompaniment

In spiritual accompaniment, as we have seen earlier in this article, cultivating and nurturing friendships is a major factor. Naturally, not all friendships will develop into spiritual friendships. However, there are special friendships that can help the individual to experience transcendence. As a young student in Chieri, Don Bosco nurtured such friendships that helped him to mature more spiritually.

We know how much Don Bosco valued his friendships with William Garigliano and Paul Braia86, and Jonah87 – a Jewish friend – and with Louis Comollo.88 Keeping in mind that Don Bosco wrote his Memoirs with hindsight, the effect left on him by these friendships.

Amongst the members of our Society for a Good Time I discovered some who were truly exemplary. Worthy of mention are William Garigliano from Poirino and Paul Braje from Chieri. They were always ready for some good recreation, but only after they had done their homework. Both were reserved and pious, and they gave me plenty of good advice. On feast days, after the practices of piety in common at the college, we used to go along to St Anthony’s Church, where the Jesuits gave marvelous catechetical instructions with plenty of stories that I still recall…Garigliano and Braje were amongst the most conscientious. We entertained ourselves with some pleasant recreation, with discussions on religious topics, spiritual reading, and prayer. We exchanged good advice, and if there were any personal corrections we felt we should hand out to each other, whether these were our own personal observations or criticisms we had heard others make, did that.89

With Louis Comollo and with Jonah, Don Bosco struck a remarkable friendship, a spiritual friendship we would dare state. The young Bosco loved these two friends and in return, he felt loved by them too. The friendship that united them was, according to Desramaut, a friendship based on Philia according to the significance that Aristotle attributed to it. It was a friendship based on benevolence as intended by Thomas Aquinas in his Summa. With these two friends, the young Bosco shared his time, his knowledge and his feelings. Each one of them desired only well for the other and in turn each received happiness without which there is no true happiness. 90

As for his friendship with Jonah, it was a friendship based on harmony, sharing, and fidelity. It was a friendship beneficial to them both; it was pleasant and good but above all, it was a spiritual friendship, one within which each felt the beloved. It was a shared life, mutual benevolence, voluntary, joyful and intimate. As for his friendship with Louis Comollo Don Bosco shows the closeness that existed between the two in numerous pages of the Memoirs. The description of his friendship with Comollo that our saint gives is less eloquent than the description of his friendship with Jonah. However, it evokes the same sentiments. With Comollo, the concept of spiritual friendship is more evident since these two friends shared not only their feelings and their love, but also they shared the same virtues and inclination towards holiness.91

Louis Comollo was John Bosco’s closest friend.92 A fellow seminarian, Comollo proved to be a true spiritual friend. In John Bosco’s words, he is described as such

This marvelous companion was my fortune. He could, as the occasion demanded, advice me, correct me, or cheer me up, but all with such charm and charity that I even welcomed his admonitions and looked for them. I dealt familiarly with him, and I was naturally led to follow his example. Although I was a thousand miles behind him in virtue, if I was not ruined by dissipation but grew in my vocation, truly I remain in his debt above all.93

If one analyses the verbs used by our founder, even though with hindsight, one can find those elements of spiritual accompaniment. Verbs such as “advise” and “correct” are fundamental for accompaniment: they indicate direction, discretion, and expertise. In Comollo, John Bosco found an accompanist. He also notes that such “admonitions” were always given with a great sense of charity. From what Don Bosco says in his Memoirs, one can see that he took humility as one of his virtues on which he needed to work and assimilate. He knew himself well; he was aware that he needed to practice the virtues more often. John Bosco was not a character to be easily convinced of anything; he had a strong personality. Louis Comollo managed to “soften” him and made him see things from a different perspective, from a spiritual viewpoint.

Louis Comollo and John Bosco had two different, striking characters, yet they shared the same spirit. They also shared mutual advice. In a way, John Bosco became Louis Comollo’s accompanist. John Bosco was not always in agreement with the way his friend practiced some acts of piety. At the age of nineteen, Comollo led an ascetical life that was very rigorous.94 However, unlike John Bosco’s, his religious practices served him as a form of escapism from the world. Stella states that Comollo’s

discomfort and a tendency to escape his surroundings are fairly obvious. … Distressed with the world and himself, Comollo found refuge and consolation in religious practices that did not entail social involvement. He engaged in prolonged, emotional prayer, filled with gestures and sighs of which John Bosco could not wholly approve. 95

It is here that the stark contrast in characters is evident. John Bosco was a social person; he managed to strike a balance between prayer, his studies, and recreation. His prayer life was not rigorous, and the approach to this act of piety was a joyful one. These would emerge as the characteristics of his spiritual accompaniment of the young. Comollo was a holy and pious person; there is no doubt about that. He also helped John Bosco to grow spiritually. Unlike John Bosco, Comollo “would never have become a teacher of young people by the score. The motto, “Serve the Lord joyfully,” was for him a summons to inner peace, which was to be attained and preserved through the realization that one was living in God’s grace. It was not a motto for meetings of boisterous young people.”96

John Bosco, however, did nurture an admiration towards certain traits in Comollo, such as his inner dialogue with God, his devotion towards the Virgin Mother and the saints. Nevertheless, he did not admire his “tormented search for outward discipline and regularity.”97 This is an essential distinction to make. John Bosco did admire Comollo, but never aspired to imitate him. John Bosco “regarded him as near and dear because he felt that Comollo balanced his own tendency to move out into the exterior world.” Still, it would be an exaggeration to say that Don Bosco “owed the solidity of his own inner life to Comollo”; yet “the communion of life shared by the two certainly helped to safeguard and enrich John Bosco.”98

As much as relationships are essential in friendship, there must be a cautious approach to them. John Bosco understood this very well. His need and desire to be accompanied and guided by his superiors were strong; yet even stronger was the urge he harbored within himself to keep away and avoid all those who could hinder his spiritual progress.

Here I must give a word of warning to seminarians. In the seminary there are many clerics of outstanding virtue, but there are others who are dangerous. Not a few young men, careless of their vocation, go to the seminary lacking either the spirit or the goodwill of a good seminarian. Indeed, I remember hearing some companions indulging in very bad language. Once a search amongst some students’ personal belongings unearthed impious and obscene books of every kind.99

Eventually, this would become one of the aspects on which Don Bosco would insist with the young, that is, to avoid those who could harm their spiritual well-being. In many of his writings, this comes out as a strong, underlined message, especially in his pedagogical narratives. Indeed, he was careful in choosing new friends, even within the boundaries of the seminary. He also advices his future Salesians to avoid “particular friendship” with the young, meaning that they should avoid those friendship which might be perceived as private, or personal, and which hinder spiritual growth in both the Salesian and the young person.100

The Chieri seminary experience did not prove to be an easy one for Don Bosco.101 In his description of the Seminary experience, he seemed to have been heart-burdened by the attitude of the superiors, although he did show them respect. His words demonstrate this ‘burden’ he carried within him:

I was greatly attached to them, and they always treated me with the greatest kindness; but my heart was not satisfied. The rector and the other superiors usually saw us only when we returned after the holidays and when we were leaving for them. The students never went to talk to them, except to receive corrections. … How often I would have liked to talk to them, ask their advice, or resolve a doubt and could not. If a superior came on the scene, the seminarians, with no particular reason, would flee left and right as if he were a monster.102

This aloofness on the part of the superiors did not present the best accompaniment a seminary was expected to offer to young seminarians. Surely, the historical context could have had an influence on this approach by the superiors. Still, for our young seminarian, it was a burden on his heart. His recounting of the events gives us a glimpse of how he would eventually change this approach. He had already expressed himself before entering the seminary on this factor.103

This experience at the seminary did not discourage him from the priesthood. As a young man, John Bosco felt the human need to be listened to, to be appreciated, to break down the barriers that separated him from the people he considered his models. Within this human need, he understood that building relationships were an essential part of the human experience itself. 104 It was not only part of the human experience, but also it was critical in spiritual accompaniment. It is when a genuine, authentic relationship is established that an accompanist can spiritually accompany the young. And only when there is a foundational, mutual trust can this dynamism take place. Therefore, what he observed at the seminary or from the approach adopted by other priests helped him to develop a way of thinking which will eventually become the guiding force when it came to accompanying the young.

The Convitto experience: a deeper encounter with Father Cafasso

Don Bosco had already met Father Cafasso when the latter was still a seminarian.105 He also knew him when our founder was at the Seminary preparing for the priesthood. In fact, on deciding on his priestly ordination, John Bosco found himself feeling not worthy to this ministry. Therefore, he had consulted Father Cafasso. After his priestly ordination, our Founder found himself again faced with a crucial decision: what would his ministry be? He exposes for us the three options he had before him.106 As it was in his nature, in such a situation he did not take a quick decision. Therefore, he sought the help and guidance. He states: “Before I made a final choice, I sought out Fr. Caffasso in Turin to ask his advice. For several years now he had been my guide in matters both spiritual and temporal. That holy priest listened to everything, the good money offers, the pressures from relatives and friends, my own goodwill to work.”107 In these own thoughts of Don Bosco we see the dynamic of accompaniment: listening on the part of the accompanist; divulging everything, without omitting anything, on the part of the accompanied.

Father Cafasso was a practical man. He wanted to be a true spiritual father, an accompanist, and guide of souls and a councilor in spiritual and ecclesiastical matters. He, therefore, perceived truth and religious beliefs in a practical manner. He was able to find and use the right words at the right time and through which he was able to inflame the hearts of the accompanied persons and set them on the right path to achieve Christian perfection.108 This ability can be seen in the way he answered Don Bosco about his queries “Without a moment’s hesitation, this is what he said: ‘You need to study moral theology and homiletics. For the present, forget all these offers and come to the Convitto.’”109 We have already seen how much the formation of young priests was at heart for Don Cafasso. He saw in the young priest Bosco a lot of enthusiasm and readiness to immerge in his ministry. Without the necessary theological and practical preparation, such a ministry would encounter serious problems. Father Cafasso knew this well and thus the invitation to Don Bosco to join the Convitto.110

Father Cafasso sought to accompany Don Bosco not only spiritually, but also to accompany him in his vision for the poor, abandoned young of Turin. Quite frequently, Father Cafasso visited the Generala prison in Turin. There, primarily he assisted the prisoners in their spiritual and other needs. Don Bosco accompanied him on several occasions. Father Cafasso knew that Don Bosco’s heart was a heart inclined towards the poor. Maybe this was one of the reasons he had chosen him to accompany him. These visits were to launch Don Bosco into the world of the poor young people of Turin.

I saw large numbers of young lads aged from 12 to 18, fine healthy youngsters, alert of mind, but seeing them idle there, infested with lice, lacking food for body and soul, horrified me. … What shocked me most was to see that many of them were released full of good resolutions to go straight, and yet in a short time they landed back in prison, within a few days of their release. On such occasions I found out how quite a few were brought back to that place; it was because they were abandoned to their own resources. “Who knows?” I thought to myself, “if these youngsters had a friend outside who would take care of them, help them, teach them religion on feast days…Who knows but they could be steered away from ruin, or at least the number of those who return to prison could be lessened?”111

During such regular visits to the prison, Don Bosco made his fundamental choice to work for the poor and abandoned young people of Turin. Again, he turned to his spiritual accompanist and guide for advice “I talked this idea over with Fr. Caffasso. With his encouragement and inspiration, I began to work out in my mind how to put the idea into practice, leaving to the Lord’s grace what the outcome would be. Without God’s grace, all human effort is vain.”112

Don Bosco was also inspired by the theological position that his spiritual director took.113 Father Guala was anti-rigorist; so was his student and disciple, Fr. Cafasso. Our Founder came to the Convitto to learn to become a priest, as he stated. After being deluded by the seminary, not regarding friendships, but more concerning the theological approach, which was polemical and “excessively abstract,” the Convitto was a breath of fresh air. Stella states it that it is “not going too far to suggest that it was a desire to breathe new life into pastoral work that had prompted Guala, and later Cafasso, to find some way to get beyond the centuries-old antinomy between probabilism and probabiliorism.”114

In Father Cafasso, Don Bosco found not only a spiritual guide but also a person who would teach him to practice his theology, descending from the abstract into concrete situations which he encountered in the lives of those he encountered during his ministry. After the seminary experience where he witnessed his friend and companion Comollo practicing very rigorist acts of piety, Don Bosco, in a definite way, embraced a benign approach. Stella continues that this was

precisely the same outlook we find in Don Bosco when he talked about choosing the system that would send souls to paradise rather than worrying about whether it was strict or not. And his preoccupation with souls ended up stimulating his sense of God rather than any concern for the theoretical system he might adopt in practice.115

It was Father Cafasso’s view and opinion, especially in the practice of the sacrament of Confession as we have seen in a previous chapter.

If there is one particular characteristic that Don Bosco managed to assimilate from his spiritual accompanier, it was the ministry of Confession. The theological approach taken by Father Cafasso influenced a great deal also in this particular ministry. Still, the benignist approach did not push them towards some form of laxist behavior. Stella asserts that in “their penitential practice as confessors, neither Father Cafasso nor Don Bosco were minimalists or laxists.” In fact, both priests “approached the confessional with a vivid sense of sin and the life of grace. They were not simply judges, but fatherly priests and pastors of souls.” They were not “satisfied solely with the minimum required for valid absolution,” but desired “to plant the life of grace solidly in their penitents and help it grow.” They also witnessed and “vividly experienced the presence of God in sudden, unexpected conversions, which they did not attribute to their own capacities but to the power of the grace granted by an infinitely good and merciful God.”116 Don Bosco would become a master in the art of Confession. His approach would be the one he inherited from Father Cafasso. During his Convitto experience, Don Bosco took a clear stance vis-à-vis rigorism. He “now became firm in his conviction that kindness, not severity, would be his way of leading souls to God.”117

Undoubtedly, Don Bosco’s time at the Convitto helped him to grow spiritually as well as humanly. The presence of Father Cafasso made a huge difference in the life and spiritual outlook of Don Bosco. He recalls that Father “Caffasso, who for six years had been my guide, was especially my spiritual director. If I have been able to do any good, I owe it to this worthy priest in whose hands I placed every decision I made, all my study, and every activity of my life.”118

The dialogue between Don Bosco and Fr. Cafasso as recorded in the Memoirs, highlights the open approach had in his spiritual accompanist. He saw in Father Cafasso’s words and counsels the will of the Spirit of God and he completely trusted in his direction. The dialogue mentioned above is an expression of the relationship which should be nurtured between accompanist and the accompanied.119

It was after this dialogue that Don Bosco speaks explicitly, for the first time, about having a regular spiritual director. This meant that Father Cafasso was “the person to whom he revealed his conscience in order to get direction for his religious life, the one who heard his confessions, and the one who gave him authoritative counsel in every matter and decision of importance.”120 Father Cafasso gave Don Bosco the fundamental and key elements to his future pastoral activity towards the young. He would prove to be an excellent companion and accompanist of those entrusted to him by Divine Providence.

Don Bosco’s experience reminds us how much he yearned to be accompanied. There were moments in his life when he sought out accompaniment. This personal desire to be guided, led him to accompany the young when as a young priest he embarked on his mission among the poor and abandoned youth of Turin. He used his personal experience as a trove and as a resource. It gave him insights on how to deal with problems and lack of spiritual formation he encountered in the young. However, the underlying factor in his immersion in accompanying the young is that he believed that such pastoral endeavor was a means that unified him with God.

The young are “our burning bush” and it is through them that God speaks to us. For us Salesians, this is a “mystery to be respected” and “accepted.” There are profound features within this mystery that need to be “recognized, and before which we should remove our sandals” so that we can “contemplate God’s self-revelation in each and everyone’s story.” When we, as accompanists of the young, make this profound experience of God, we can then be able to respond to the needs of the young who desire to be accompanied.121 We are called not only to work for the young, but also to be with them, “sharing faith, relying on them.” Being with them, thus, requires of us to “overcome formal relations that are functional and hurried to focus on having an authentic encounter lived in the Family Spirit and in Salesian accompaniment.”122

The young seek us out because they see in us their spiritual friends who can help them in an authentic manner, to seek answers to the many questions they might have. They desire to encounter the person of Jesus Christ. Spiritual accompaniment should not be a simple communication of faith or its content, but “to bringing the experience of encounter with Jesus who takes on flesh in our daily life, present in the Word, in the Eucharist, and in the face of every person.”123 This approach was Don Bosco’s vision of accompaniment of the young. This encounter with Christ took place from the simple daily activities and duties that the young were invited to carry out and to perform in a thorough way. These activities and tasks were never separated from the reality and grace of the Sacraments. These were seen by Don Bosco as a participation in the life of Jesus Christ and thus were central in his accompaniment of the young.

Experience has taught us how valuable accompaniment is, especially in accompanying the young to “know and to meet Jesus.” Moreover, we need to remind ourselves that the young “have a right to Christ and his Gospel and we owe it to them.” 124 We are know for our endeavors in helping young people to better their social well-being, through education, professional formation, and career orientated programs. Such endeavors can force us to lose sight of and neglect their “spiritual life and their vocation,”125 their vocation to be young, to live their youthful years committed to others and to society, striving to make it a better place for future generations. Our spiritual accompaniment of the young can only be successful if we endeavor, together with them, to help them discover what they already possess within them, that is, their call to life by God and that they are especially loved by Him.

In the next part of this contribution, we shall look into the theological perspective of Don Bosco’s selected writings. This insight will enable us to understand his theological thought and approach used in his accompaniment of the young. We shall also look at the objective and typologies of his writings. His style of writing and his way of addressing the young, in turn, will enable us to understand better his theological vision of Christian education and his endeavors in seeking the salvation of the young.

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